On Our 30th Wedding Anniversary

at 2023-12-31 03:56:12.0 / 401 Hits

My wife and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary next May 2024. We used to joke with each other and talk about the truth. As we look back on the last 30 years of our life together, there is one mysterious fact. We've lived closer than anyone else in the world, and we feel like we know everything, but we don't know anything. We've loved each other a lot more than we've ever loved each other, but we've also had a lot more disagreements and fights.

  I don't know how to describe it, but it feels like God brought each of us to our respective spouses with the harshest knife or hammer, even though we love them the most, for the parts of our lives that need to be broken, shattered, and made. I am a person who deals with a relatively large number of people. When there is a problem in the relationship due to the people around me, I try to break through with an objective view. In extreme cases, if necessary, I can even cut off the relationship to get some control.

  However, this is not the case with my wife, my spouse. Especially when she, my closest ally and supporter, attacks me as my deepest enemy, it is devastatingly damaging. After 30 years of marriage, when I'm attacked over a disagreement, the hardest thing is to have my wife, who knows me better than anyone, pinpoint my fatal weakness. What makes it more devastating than anything else is that it's the exact truth.

  Every time, she says "I'm just telling you because it's me." When I'm being poked and prodded about my fatal weakness, I get so angry that I strike back. It's like a knife to water, and the fight becomes fierce. In retrospect, I see couples around me who have not been able to overcome this stage and have made irreversible choices that have resulted in their relationship no longer working.

  We are a couple who met in the red zone of people who should never have met based on the MBTI test. Yet, we are doing well. We are doing well because we have found wisdom in the truths of the Bible and the advice of our elders in life. It's important for a couple to love each other, but it's also important for them to respect and honor each other.

  I think one of the biggest mistakes a couple can make is to become so familiar and comfortable that they fail to be respectful to their spouse, which is the most important thing to do. My wife and I have had countless love fights and have unspoken groundbreaking mediations. No matter how intense the fight, don't let it last more than a day. Instead of getting angry at the other person for being so different, we decided to look to God, who united us and moved toward heaven. Hopefully, we will walk hand in hand and step by step along the way.