It is said to cause symptoms of male menopause when the male hormones are too low for your age.(Hankyoreh newspaper) The age is 50. And one of the side effects is that it makes you scared at night. I'm in my mid-50s, and I'm inclined to agree with them. I have a strange indescribable feeling of weakness, as if I'm being pressed from above, both mentally and physically.

Along with the above-mentioned feeling, I've recently organized 3 confusions. I'm not sure how much empathy I'll get, because these are things I've experienced and am still experiencing and facing for the first time in my life.

The first confusion was during the adolescence of my two growing sons. It's a rebellion for independence as they go from being totally dependent on their dad as children to being independent as they reach puberty, which is a culmination of growing up, and I think it was a surprise and confusion for me to accept.

The second confusion was my young adulthood, when I passed through puberty and became a college student. My sons, who became young men at a time I can't necessarily pinpoint, are stronger than me. I don't think I've lost my strength; they've grown into strong young men. It's so natural. But for some reason, my shoulders sag. I wonder if a sense of helplessness is rearing its head.

The third confusion is more recent. After my children grew up and got their own jobs, they became financially independent. My income is becoming more and more limited, but my children are doing extremely well, and I am grateful for that. However, a strange feeling of helplessness overwhelms me, and I sometimes feel bitter and helpless, and my mind is jumbled.

As I pondered these thoughts, I realized that my spiritual children might also experience these symptoms. Prayer was born out of hope. In the field of ministry, let us experience the above three confusions through our members who are saved by Your Word. Just like the inevitable menopause in life, there will be pastoral menopause, but let our members, like our children, go through puberty, young adulthood, and sainthood normally.

This is the prayer I have been thinking and hoping for this week.