July is the rainy season in Auckland, on the upper North Island of New Zealand. Despite the weather in the video, it is a very cold winter. Fortunately, I moved to my current home in December last year, so I am grateful that I have not experienced bone-chilling cold. I must confess that the Lord's helping hand of Jehovah Yireh has been a buffer against the hardships that have befallen us.

My heart and spiritual condition have not been good lately. The ICD device that was implanted on May 8 seems to have taken hold, and my wife is well past the 40-day mark after her major surgery on June 3. But on July 23, my wife will begin chemotherapy. I am very scared because I remember the chemotherapy process exactly from my breast cancer and first ovarian cancer. So the fear of chemotherapy is two to three times greater than it actually is.

I try to imagine myself in the mood of Moses, perhaps a long time ago, when he had to stand before the king after 40 years of hiding. It was God's timely command, but I'm sure he hadn't thought about it or prepared for it. Moses, who had been a simple family man and herdsman for 40 years, was afraid to go to the very king who could kill him. He tries to avoid that fear by making all kinds of excuses. Given his skill at excuses, Moses doesn't seem like a man of few words.

After all, God's active persuasion (command) is from God himself, so don't be afraid. Moses asks how he will know that God has sent him; he may not have spoken for 40 years, but in his mind, he is a master teacher. When Moses replies that it is the staff he relies on, God tells him to put it down on the ground.

He does so, and it becomes a snake. The snake is also thought to be afraid. I can see Moses probably taking a step backward. I imagine the fear that comes with letting go of something I have relied on. In this contemplation, I apply it to my own fear of standing before the King today, such as my wife's chemotherapy or my own spiritual slump.

God told me to grab the serpent by the tail, which is the fear itself. It sounds as if he is telling us to grab the tail, the end of fear. It's clear that fear is an illusion. I obey and grab the tail, and it becomes a staff again. But it's not the same staff that Moses relied on in the past. It has become a staff of proof of his reliance on God. As you face your fears, look for the sticks you still hold and rely on and commit to laying them down.

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)