Kosta- Joanne Kim

99% faith is not real, 100% faith is. This was the topic of our first For the vast majority of this year. I had been living in relative comfort, contentment, and arrogance regarding my walk in Jesus. I was living like this, despite being fully aware of how fragile my faith was. and how much time I didn't spend on Jesus, but on the world. Yet. because I knew that to restore a passion for God. I had to live for him, live in obedience, worship, pray, and most importantly, give up a comfortable life, I procrastinated. I couldn't be bothered. But when I was told that 99% faith is not real, I thought to myself.

What is the percentage of my faith? If 99% is not real, do I have real faith? This question made me very uncomfortable. It made me think, if I had 100% faith, would I be okay with living like this? If I fully embraced the grace of Jesus every day and had a thirst for the gift of the holy spirit. would I be content with living like this? You see, the speaker there said. you don't need to volunteer, you don't need to go on missionary trips and become apologetic to go into heaven.

However, if you did have the holy spirit, wouldn't you just feel that it is necessary to do those things out of gratitude and desperation for the kingdom of God? As I thought about this, speakers Matthew Lee and Paul Nam said, "Why are your dreams, to buy a house, to have a good job, to be rich, to live comfortably, etc, the same as the world's dreams?" He said, “We are chosen people, our lives, our dreams, our attitudes, should be different. If you haven't created a ripple in somebody's life if you haven't made somebody question their faith or non-belief in Christ as a Christian, can you call yourself Christian?". And this made me feel very convicted. My dream was not a kingdom dream. My dream was for my benefit mainly. not Gods. My dream was selfish and a dream that the world had. And so, my purpose for life changed, and my dream changed. I realized I need to live for God and to do that, I want to live an uncomfortable, passionate, and kingdom-minded life, a life filled with desire for God, and a life not glorifying or elevating myself with societal status or the riches I want, but a life filled with spiritual, eternal, riches. A life that pleases God. So as of right now, I don't know what my calling is yet. However, if in the future God calls me to full-time ministry or missionary work, I will not hesitate, and commit fully.